10 Year Without You

To my beautiful big sister,

10 Year Without you…

How has it been a decade when it feels like a lifetime and only just yesterday, all at the same time?

How has it been nearly a quarter of my life without you, when we were meant to grow old together?

How has it been 10 years without your physical presence?

If I knew then what I know now, I would hug you a little tighter.

I would tell you just how loved you are.

I would make the most of every precious moment.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could have a snuggly hug with you, dressed in your PJs and dressing gown. You may have only been 31, but you really were an old soul.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could have a little crazy sister fun. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be chased by you acting like a crab or having you plea with me to do the chicken dance. You really were happiness & sunshine in human form, with a smile that could light up the room. If only you could have seen yourself the way I did.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could have a chat with you… even if it meant standing in a car park after Zumba, feeling hungry because we just kept talking.

Oh, how I wish I could have created more memories with you.

Losing you has been gut-wrenching… it felt so damn unfair. It broke my heart into a million little pieces, and although all the king’s horses and all the king’s men said they could put it back together again… it has taken them a while. They left an extra special piece just for you.

I know you would be proud that I didn’t let losing you keep me down.

I know you would be proud that I kept going and learnt to truly live.

Although, let’s face it, you were always a proud big sister and I was always the annoying little sister.

Love always,

Megs (oh, how I miss you calling me this).